Set up an alarm system in the house of your mind.
A couple of years ago, a ceramic artist changed my life. Her name was Nina and she gave me one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever had about focus.
I took one of her courses on pottery. Crafts were a big thing in my family and I had always been the only one who knew nothing of it. So I decided to finally give it a try.
I shared a table with David, a banker. Nina was our instructor. She showed us the wheel, the kiln, drying, firing, and so on. She was great. She had patience and a calm way of explaining things. “Focus”, she said. “Pottery is all about focus. If you understand that, the clay will do magical things. Try to remove all distractions. Your experience will start to feel round and complete. And the clay will follow.”
I had a good feeling about it. I liked it. No distractions, I told myself. I put my phone on airplane mode. I was ready.
Then the clay came. A white, soft mass that felt almost organic. The wheels began to turn and we went to work. I glanced over to David. He was moving around on his chair, the wheel rotating between his legs. Nina went over to him. David chuckled and mumbled something I couldn’t understand. He is not really dedicated, I thought. I could do it better. But Nina laughed and tapped David on the shoulder.
Then she came to me. And I knew immediately that something was wrong. She looked at what I was doing. Her face was motionless. “Be careful with your arm positioning”, she said. I moved my arms. “No”, she said. “Not like that.” She put two fingers on my shoulder. It sank down.
The course went on like that for a couple of days. “Hey, look at that!”, David said. He put a tall, freshly fired vase on the table. At first, it looked to me like a huge phallus. But looking closer, I saw that it was actually well done. Nina nodded approvingly. “Good proportions”, she said. “It’s very clean”. How was that even possible? I had seen him working on it the day before. His hands were clumsy, and he was always distracted, not really into it. And now this beautiful vase, while my pots looked like something a two-year-old did with putty.
On day six, I couldn’t take it anymore. Maybe, I am just too timid, I thought. I pushed my clay really hard. I pulled it away from the wheel. It grew higher, I felt that I was onto something. I saw Nina from the corner of my eye. She was watching. I pulled more. Suddenly, I felt the clay on the bottom of my pot giving in. No. It collapsed. With a splash, it hit the floor.
That day, I didn’t go home right away. I sat in a Café next to Nina’s studio. I had a coffee, but I rather felt like ordering a vodka. I was lost in thoughts about wheels, kilns, David, and clay.
“You have no clue, why this isn’t working, have you?”, I heard a voice.
I looked up. It was Nina. She wore a long coat.
“My hands just won’t behave”, I said. “Maybe clay is not for me.”
She shook her head. “The clay is fine”, she said and sat down. “Your problem is … well. Focus.”
“You keep saying that”, I said. “Believe me, I am cutting off all external things. No looking on my phone. I can even ignore Dave.”
“But there are uninvited guests inside your mind”, she said.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I think of distractions as unwanted guests trying to enter the house of your mind”, she said. “Some ring at the door. Like your phone, or the noise of the others.” She leaned forward. “But some unwanted guests sneak in through the backdoor, like burglars. Most often they are just thoughts or brief impressions. Short like a flash, or snap of the finger. But once they are inside, they put you off balance. And your hands won’t behave anymore.”
I leaned back. That idea reminded me of something. It reminded me of reading. Sometimes, when it’s late, you read a book, line by line. And when you come to the end of the page, you notice that you have no clue what you’ve just read.
“So, is there something I can do about it? To keep the burglars out of my house.”
“Of course”, Nina said. “You just set up an alarm system.”
The Alarm System
Nina’s alarm system was based on a simple idea: “You have to connect your experience of focus with strong emotions. So whenever you lose your focus, your emotional level drops.”
First, you should pick one or two questions that trigger positive emotions. If you don’t have any, here are two examples: What am I grateful for? What would a great day look and feel like?
“Then, you go for a walk. Take at least fifteen minutes and think of answers to those two questions. Be as visual and specific as possible. If you do, you will feel a surge of energy and positive emotion. Then, do it on a regular basis. Every day. Sooner or later you will get distracted. And then you feel an emotional drop. You notice that you are distracted and turn back to answering the questions. If you do this often enough, you will feel it intensely when you give in to distractions. Distractions find it harder to enter your mind unnoticed. You have successfully set up your alarm system.”
My first day of practice felt great. I was walking around in my neighborhood. The air was fresh. It was nice to think about things that I was grateful for. It was easy. The odd thing was, there weren’t any distractions. “Don’t be mistaken”, I recalled Nina’s words. “The beginning is easy.”
She was to be right. After three or four days they came. Tiny little worries. Darker ideas. They had all kinds of shapes: doubts, plans, ideas, regrets. At the same time, the weather grew darker. It didn’t help.
One day, I came home from a 30-minute walk. And I noticed: I hadn’t thought about a single positive thing the entire time. No gratitude, no visioning. My mind had been wandering constantly. It was just like reaching the end of the page without remembering a single line.
What had Nina suggested for such a situation? I didn’t know. So I did what I thought would be the right thing: it took another few minutes of walking. It was not exactly pleasant. First, I thought about gratitude, I felt okay. But then another thought came, I got distracted. The positive feeling disappeared. I re-focused. The positive feeling came back. Then, another thought, an emotional drop. And so on. But one thing was different: I always noticed the distraction. Always.
After that day, I never had a complete “blackout” again during my walks. Sometimes it was easier to focus, sometimes harder. But what mattered was my perception of the inner distractions. They weren’t worries, plans, regrets anymore, but simply distractions. They didn’t frighten me, they didn’t tempt me. They were just there for a short moment. Then I let them go.
So…
Months later, I was in the Café again. Nina sat next to me. A nice little pot stood in front of me. It was my work. I had just finished her beginner’s course. Not the one with Dave. That had long passed. Dave was on the advanced course already.
“So?”, she asked. “How did it feel?”
“That was really cool”, I said. “I focussed on the clay, and my head was completely empty. I didn’t even have to ignore my phone or the others. This happened all by itself.”
Nina nodded. “Once you learn to control your inner distractions, it’s even easier to ignore the external ones.”
“So”, I said rubbing my hands. “I am ready for more.”
She looked at me. “Well”, she said. “To be honest, maybe clay is not for you.”
I was startled. “But you said …”
She looked down. “I lied”, she said.
“But…”
“Yeah, I know. I am sorry. But I really wanted you to learn that focus thing.”